Twenty Five to Life

"Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap..." 

Watching the one you love hurt eternally is probably one of the most conflicting, and difficult experiences you'll ever have to deal with. It's even more painful when the reason for this hurt is present in your everyday life. It will never go away, or disappear, or miraculously resolve itself. True, he or she may have done their fair share of emotional and physical damage to others in their time, but is it possible for their punishment to outweigh their offenses? Shouldn't what we reap be equal to what we've sown? This is a life sentence; reaping what we sow. And like all other life sentences, they are not the only ones affected by it. We all have choices to make in life... and more so than not, our choices define us to the outside world unfortunately. They dictate what will come in the future. Nothing is simple anymore, nothing is "black and white" anymore; now we have shades of grey in between. Should one moment in time, one mistake, define us for the rest of our lives? Can we be forgiven and opt out by default from this whole "reap what you sow" clause? Can we make amends with those who we've wronged and start over? Can we have the desire to fix our mistakes? If not for ourselves, then for our children? Our loved ones? One thing is certain - we cannot do for others unless they want to do for themselves. You cannot "right a wrong" for your loved one no matter how badly you want to. Their actions are their own, and they have to take ownership and responsibility for their actions. All you wives, husbands, sisters, brothers, fathers, mothers, in-laws, step parents, friends, cousins, and partners are condemned through your love. How does it feel to watch your loved ones reap what they sow? Would you wish the same life sentence on your future friends and family? What if we tried to live a better life in hopes to change the outcome of our future? Does this seem so strange of a concept? Perhaps the ones we care about the most should be our motivation to 'be the change we want to see in the world.' True, nobody is perfect. But we can sure as hell try to be better.

New Chapters

As we grow older we begin to realize that life is - for lack of a better expression - fun! Looking at the bigger picture, life is actually fun. Life is ever changing. Some aspects of our lives change over long periods of time, and others happen rapidly. You can never be certain of these changes, but what we can be sure of is the idea of our lives never remaining the same. Don't get me wrong! What I would give to be able to go back to a moment in time 10 years ago when I was first learning to ride my favorite horse that my family owned. What I would give to go back to the day we first galloped down that 3 mile easement together...that was my first true rush of "horse induced" adrenaline. If I had a choice, that would have been my Heaven on earth. I grew up with that horse, I moved to different homes with that horse; that horse and I had so many wonderful experiences and adventures together. I took care of that horse in her old age...and eventually I buried that horse when the cancer took her away from us. That horse watched my life evolve...she was the constant from the time when I wore diapers all the way through high school and into the beginning of college. My husband, who at the time was just my boyfriend, had the chance to meet her. 

My point is this- life is supposed to change. People are supposed to come and go - no matter how painful it may be - and we as human beings are supposed to change. Religion aside, as human beings we thrive when we are given the chance to change and adapt. It would be nice to re-live those "Heavenly" moments in time, but part of what makes those moments so special, part of what makes them important to our identity is that they are fleeting. Those moments were meant to remain a photo within our memories, not an every day experience. Appreciate those memories and think of them often for what they were; those memories had a role to play in the evolution of who you are. Appreciate the new chapters that arrive and look forward to the new chapters that have yet to come.